Leroy Neiman The Brooklyn Bridge

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Well,’ he said, ‘it’s like this. The Patrician is barricaded in his bedroom on account of the furniture in the palace is zooming around the place like you wouldn’t believe, the cooks won’t even go back in the kitchen on account of what’s happening in there . . .’
The wizards tried not to look at the spear’s head. It was starting to unscrew itself.
‘Anyway,’ the captain went on, oblivious to the faint metallic noises, ‘the Patrician calls through the keyhole, see, and says to me, “Douglas, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind nipping down to the University and asking the head man if he would be so good as to step up here, if he’s not too busy?” But I can always go back and on my foot!’
‘Did it?’ said Ridcully, innocently.
The guard captain hopped up and down.
‘Listen, are you bloody hocus-pocus merchants coming or not?’ he said, between bounces.’The boss is not very happy. Not very happy at all.’
A great formless cloud of Life drifted across the Discworld,tell him you’re engagin’ in a bit of student humour, if you like.’The spearhead was almost off the shaft.to me?’ said the captain suspiciously.‘Hmm? What?’ said the Archchancellor, tearing his eyes away from the spinning metal.’Oh. Yes. Well, I can assure you, my man, that we are not the cause of -‘‘Aargh!’‘Pardon?’‘The spearhead fell